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From: Dorothy Fancher
Date: 07 Sep 1999
Time: 09:54:31
Remote Name: 198.108.229.120
Hey Nick, Although heavy metal is not what I would consider my favorite, I do listen occasionally. There are times when the heavy beat and cacophony of voices, guitars, and keyboards are just what I need to boost my mood. Besides, I have a nineteen year old, and it kind of comes with the territory. As to your paragraph, the only problem I have with it is that you don't explain what it is about heavy metal that makes you like it. In order for the reader to understand tha idea, the writer must explain or clarify by adding detail or reasons. These guide the reader to draw appropriate conclusions. For your next submission, please include a minimum of three details which explain why you are writing on that particular topic.